How To Find a Blessing When You’re Afraid
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ” Ephesians 1:3, NKJV
How can we see a blessing when we’re going through a difficult time? When your world comes crashing down, it hurts too much to look up. Anger, fear, and grief all race around you like it’s a competition to see who gets to keep you in bed for the day.
But God knows your heart. He reveals things in His time. He gives us every spiritual blessing in Jesus. Even through cancer…
Going for my checkup at the “woman doctor” I was prepared for an irregular result from the test just as I’ve had for the past ten years. “Abnormal squamous cells of undetermined significance” is what I was expecting with “just watching it” every 6 months-year.
I received unexpected results instead.
I got the results over the phone from the nurse while driving to work. I heard words like “precancerous” and “high-grade,” but couldn’t focus. I wanted to talk to my doctor about it, but didn’t hear from her for three days, and it was initiated by me. Instantly, I realized it was wrong. This was all wrong.
If you or your loved one has ever heard words remotely close to “cancer” time instantly looks different to you.
I didn’t get any follow-up for a month. A month is an eternity. I’m a nurse by profession and knowing too much hurt my optimism. It wasn’t good.
The doctor told me that my results were concerning for cancer, and not the “good” type, the bad type that is unpredictable. I didn’t even know there was a good type of cancer…. did I miss something in nursing school?
She said I should get a hysterectomy. A hysterectomy would not only remove my entire uterus and cervix but my chance to have any more children too.
My eyes watered as I looked at my husband. I can’t even imagine what was going through his mind at that moment. The doctor spoke fast and matter of fact, which was really surprising because she was always so nice. I guess you don’t see the true colors of a doctor until what you have is not “within normal limits.”
The nurse in me finally showed up. I asked about options instead of removing everything with a hysterectomy. She told me to consult a gynecological oncologist and couldn’t recommend anyone because she “only did one rotation there.”
My husband held my hand as if he was pulling me from a ravene. Once we got to the car, we let it out.
Fear overwhelmed me. But he wrapped his arms around me so tight it kept the fear from getting too deep.
The blessing was least expected.
Even though it was like a lottery picking one from a website, my oncologist turned out to be someone God put in our path. I picked him solely because his last name was the same as a famous hockey player, and I’m a hockey fan. But God knew I would, right?
My husband and I walked into his office and every single person was above and beyond. The aura in the office was filled with compassion, kindness, and gentleness.
Those are the things cancer isn’t.
He was attentive and offered support every step of the way. When my husband asked questions, he validated everything he was saying with thoughtful answers. He was direct, but kind.
This man and his team were an amazing blessing amidst the most fearful time in my life. He did NOT want to take my uterus, he wanted to know more about the situation. He talked with us about all options and we walked away comforted.
Flash forward and today I’m cancer free! I had a small tumor in my cervix, but thankfully it didn’t spread anywhere else. I didn’t need chemotherapy or radiation.
But, I’m still on the journey. The journey is what no one talks about when cancer strikes. It’s like a secret club everyone acknowledges but never speaks about details. Always testing, fearing, hoping, praying.
Blessings are all around us, but fear makes it hard to see them.
God is working behind the scenes for you.
You’ll get angry, upset, scared, and burned out, but keep the faith. Your faith is something no one can take from you. Jesus gives you a gateway to all spiritual blessings. You have every blessing IN CHRIST.
When we realize that God allows both prosperity and adversity, we can better understand how to be surrender our hearts. Our need for control overshadows faith sometimes. As a result, we try to do everything except simply giving it to God.
He will work against the pain in your life so you can see the purpose.
This is Laura Story singing the song “Blessings.” Right after I wrote this post I heard an interview with Laura on Word FM and she talked about the story behind this song. I encourage you to listen and look up her story. It’s very inspiring and hits home.