In this episode of the I Witness Podcast, host Kelly Jo Wilson explores how to heal while grieving, and the intersection of grief and faith with guest Stefanie Cabaniss, a specialist in grief support for Christian women. Stef shares her poignant journey of losing her best friend to cancer, a loss that deepened her faith and inspired the creation of the Grief 2 Great Day podcast and ministry. Their conversation delves into the transformative power of trusting God through life’s toughest challenges, highlighting the strength of honesty and vulnerability in prayer.
Stefanie Cabaniss is the founder of Grief2GreatDay.com, a coach and author specializing in grief support for Christian women. She hosts the Grief 2 Great Day Podcast to support Christian women navigating the difficult journey of grief.
Experiencing indescribable pain and confusion after losing her best friend to cancer, she struggled to create a new life. She earned a master’s degree in Public Health focusing on community grief support. She served as secretary for the Eastern Carolina End of Life Care Coalition.
Her book entitled, Dying to Be Healed, was released in January 2021. Stef is also the creator of What Do I do After the Loss of a Loved One? 4 Actions to Take Now to Cope with Grief a faith-based workshop to help women breathe, laugh, and live again.
Stef contributes to local newspapers and radio and is available to discuss grief support topics such as ‘getting through’ the first year of grief and creating purpose after loss. Stef and her husband, Jeff live in eastern North Carolina.
Interview Highlights
How to heal from grief when it doesn’t have a timeline
Giving ourselves grief grace and what that looks like
Stef has practical tips for how to heal from grief and prepare for difficult days
Stef talks about her anger at God and how her faith changed when coping with the loss of her best friend
Stef shares uplifting ways she and her friend Monica kept positive through the cancer journey with their B-POD
Stef shares wonderful takeaways and resources to help women navigate grief, especially during the first year after the loss
Bible Verses for Encouragement
Matthew 11:28-30, NKJV: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and al these things shall be added to you.”
Stefanie Cabaniss knew in those agonizing moments watching her friend dying that the story must be told. As with the Scriptural account of Noah, Abraham, and Moses, this recollection conveys a realistic version of that manner of ‘crazy’ faith.
Dying to be Healed is not a story set in a backdrop of ages past. It is a contemporary, true, bittersweet, and altogether real-life narrative of the final months of the earthly existence of Stefanie’s best friend, Monica.
Monica battled the ravages of stage-four Melanoma but came to strongly and immovably believe that she had been miraculously healed by the power of the Great Physician. This is a story of that unshakeable faith in the midst of rampant physical contradiction.
Do you struggle to spend time with God because of anxiety, distraction, or because you’re going through a difficult time?
I have a resource to help you walk with God in your own unique way.
The Stillness Prayer Journal is a printable prayer journal with over 100 customizable pages all dedicated to simplifying your walk with God.
The journal has cognitive behavioral therapy techniques combined with Bible verses and Christian-based encouragement to guide your time with Him in a simple, thoughtful way.
Stillness Prayer Journal Includes:
A one-page daily journal for simple goal-setting and reflection
It’s the worst feeling. As a result, you are physically drained and only want to sleep. You lay in bed wanting to do nothing, also with no appetite because you can’t taste your food.
Maybe it’s even severe enough that you are in the hospital, and feel like a pin cushion because of all the blood they’ve taken and medicines you’ve received. Medicines piled on top of one another to try and “fix” but often just mask for a bit until a new problem arises.
When you’re physically sick the only way to get rid of the bacteria in the infection is to kill it and remove it.
How do you know what bacteria is causing the infection?
You get tested, through blood, spit, or swabs. Doctors who specialize in that know how to use the sample and figure out what’s causing the infection. Then antibiotics are chosen by how the bacteria is known to respond to them.
For example, if bacteria are known to be sensitive to Cipro, that is the antibiotic that is chosen because the bacteria will not be able to fight it. Once you start getting that antibiotic the bacteria die and your body gets rid of it. Afterward……
You start to feel better!!
You want to eat again and get up and walk around. It takes time but there is a light at the end of the tissues. If you have a virus, most likely it will have to run its course, but there are things that can help boost your immune system to fight it.
Physically sick and spiritually sick aren’t all that different.
Your spirit is kindled by the word of God and the relationship with Him.
The nourishment to your spirit is His word. When you are spiritually sick, you aren’t close to God, but get torn apart by the world.
The “bugs” that cause infection are those flesh hosts of lusts, greed, hate, anger, adultery, and lies. Your selfishness runs rampant, and when it’s a really bad case, you don’t even notice.
It feels like you’re always chasing something, but never catching it. You feel broken, beaten, helpless, and hopeless. Your drive and passion for life are sucked out and replaced with negativity and cynicism.
The more trouble we face the harder our heart becomes, which leaves it impenetrable.
When your spirit is in need of healing, you won’t feel close to God.
You may feel angry or hurt, and blame Him for whatever is causing you pain.
It’s hard for you to pray so you do something else. Then days of not praying become weeks, and eventually years without intervention. You succumb to the world and feel alone.
A hurt that you once could identify becomes an epidemic within you, that you can no longer pinpoint. Your spirit is infected with hurt, distrust, and doubt.
You try to heal it using medications, therapy, and other coping mechanisms that don’t get to the source but just delay the symptom. Some of them start to have “side effects” that give you a new problem. Your spirit is infected with bad bugs that need to be removed so you can regain your joy.
Your life is meant for a great purpose, and you have a gift that you cannot use when your spirit is “infected.”
So how do you “kill” the empty spirit and be made new?
Two words…. Jesus Christ.
Jesus has already defeated what you are going through.
He was tempted with the very things you are in your flesh body, and He fought it. He conquered death and rose again.
Right now, in your struggle with the sickness in your spirit, you have a choice.
Stop resisting and start letting Him in your heart.
He has never lied or not fulfilled His promises. You can trust Him and lean on Him because He only has your best interest at heart. He will not let you down. He wants you to be free from this pain, and have peace.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”.
It will be uncomfortable at first because you haven’t done it in a while, or maybe never.
The relationship we have with Him is like a father and son. A father and son who love each other talk, share stories, laugh together, and support one another.
The son looks to his father for guidance and the father provides security, protection, and correction. Jesus and God the Father provide the best example of this and help us to understand their character.
You are a creation that is absolutely magnificent.
You were bought for a significant price, and through Jesus you can have the peace.
It is a continuous process to let go of the temporary fixes you have been using and trust in the permanent freedom in Him.
Let go a little more every day and He has a chance to work within you, transforming you, and getting the nourishment to your sick spirit. You can absolutely do it.
Remember, He is knocking all you have to do is open the door.
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