Feeling broken makes you uncomfortably vulnerable. But it could transform your entire life. As difficult as it is to accept, you are blessed in the brokenness you feel.
Is there something in your life that you can’t seem to get past?
It’s a thorn in your side that continually prods you. Maybe you’re mourning the death of someone you love, which paralyzes your heart from moving forward. Perhaps your struggle is internal, and you continually become your own worst enemy.
You go through a barrage of coping from anger to anguish. You are set on autopilot and pace through your everyday duties, but your heart is hollow. Your passion is gone, and you don’t know your purpose. You believe in God, but question His belief in you. You can’t feel His strength. Faith becomes hidden behind your fear that it will never change.
In life, something will always break you. That something will not honor your timing but operate on its own. The hardest part about your brokenness is accepting it as an opportunity, and trusting God through it.
Do you feel most in need of God when things are going right … or wrong?
If you’re like me, you are on your face praying when things have gone so wrong all you can do is weep. I thank God every day for His blessings in my life. There was a time when I wasn’t so sure of God. I didn’t feel worthy of Jesus because of my terrible mistakes. But, I remember the moments I’ve been crushed even more because they sparked a change that may have never occurred otherwise.
Get alone with Him
Even if you question God’s motives, and are so mad at Him it’s hard to breathe, tell Him. Get alone with Him. When it’s just you and Him, there’s no hiding, no running, no lying … just facing Him and the truth. Confront the raw truth of how you feel about your life. At that moment, you are humbled in a way you don’t expect. Your faith emerges behind the fear you’ve been living with, by merely asking Him why. God knows when you exercise your faith, and most of the time it’s not Him that needs to see it, it’s yourself.
I came across a passage when listening to a Bible study and couldn’t pass it up. God has that exciting way of taking you somewhere you didn’t expect, but needed to experience. The journey led me to a woman in the bible named Hannah. You may know the story but I didn’t, and I want to share it with you. It’s in 1 Samuel chapter 1, NKJV.
The Shattered Woman
Hannah was the wife of a man named Elkanah. He had another wife named Peninnah as well. (I don’t really know how to pronounce them either, so no worries). Peninnah had children with Elkanah, but Hannah couldn’t have children. Every year Elkanah made an offering to the Lord according to the Jewish faith. This offering involved animal sacrifice. When he would give portions of his offering for his family, he would always double Hannah’s amount. He was madly in love with her.
Being that Penninah was also Elkanah’s wife, she was in constant competition with Hannah. Not only did she share in the life of her husband, but she was also able to give him children. Peninnah provoked Hannah, trying to hurt her emotionally 1 Sam 1:6, NKJV. She was a constant threat to her, harassing her year after year. Peninnah was most likely jealous of Hannah because of the love Elkanah had for her. His offering for Hannah was always more than for Penninah. He loved her and blessed her, even in her brokenness.
Hannah felt hopeless
Year after year, she endured the aggravation from Peninnah. The rivalry between them really affected her. Despite her situation, Elkanah loved her, and it didn’t matter to him that she couldn’t have children. But it mattered to Hannah. She wouldn’t eat, but only wept 1 Sam 1:7. Hannah became bitter out of the overwhelming grief she experienced.
Have you ever felt that way?
Tightness in your chest, clenching your jaw, and putting on a fake smile. You feel forced to isolate and unable to move past the negativity. You don’t trust anyone. You’ve been so involved in the cycle of your own despair that you can’t see the way out. Frustration soon turns to apathy.
Bitterness is like a chisel to your spirit. It slowly breaks away the love in your heart until there’s nothing left. Your spirit becomes broken. It’s in desperate need of repair, but there is only One who can truly make you like new.
Hannah’s brokenness brought her to the point of no return.
She finally had enough. She decided to go to the altar during the yearly sacrifice and cry out to God. While there, she wept profusely to Him. She spoke to Him with her heart, not her voice. She prayed so hard the priest Eli thought she was drunk! Her lips moved but no words came out.
“O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head” 1 Sam 1:11. Hannah called to her Lord. She was pleading with Him to hear her and not forget her. Desperation turned to devotion to God.
She let it go
Hannah “poured out her soul” to Him 1 Sam 1:15. Once she placed all her grief on the Lord, she left it behind. She left her grief at that altar. Her faith in God overpowered any doubt from the life she was in the habit of living. Her spirit connected with Him through her suffering. She surrendered her sorrow to Him and never looked back. She finally ate again and felt restored! Many were blessed from her brokenness.
What changed in Hannah?
Her faith overpowered her fear
God honored her faith. She conceived a son and named him Samuel. When he was weaned from her but still a young boy, she fulfilled her promise to God. Hannah wanted him to live a life with God. She hoped for him to be blessed and covered by God’s grace. They traveled to the altar where she made the promise to God. After all her despair, she still followed through on her promise to devote Samuel to a life with God.
God kept His promise, and so did she
“As long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord” 1 Sam 1:28 Hannah promised. The faith in her heart prevailed over the misery of her situation. God blessed her, and she praised Him by offering Samuel to Him.
God protected Samuel, and he continued to live a holy life as one of God’s chosen. He ministered and judged all of Israel with righteousness. God blessed Hannah and Samuel very much. It all started with Hannah deciding to take up her cross, step out in faith, and give her sorrow to God. She was given a great blessing, but she may not have seen it without her brokenness.
In this world, we always have a choice. We live with the result of our choices, whether they are good or bad. Sometimes you have sorrows that push your faith into a dark place in your heart. You get used to it being there and start trusting things in the world. You may not notice your faith sinking deeper, especially if you aren’t turning to God with your needs. But without a relationship with Him, you become lukewarm in your faith.
Lukewarm is a dangerous territory
When you’re lukewarm, you’re not invigorated by God. You’re not broken by the world, you’re right in the middle. You go through the motions, but you’re neither cold or hot. You may go to church, but just because it’s part of your routine. There’s no craving for God. You keep trying to handle your life on your own without Him. “So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth” Rev 3:16 .
God wants you to be filled with the Holy Spirit and make an effort for Him. When you feel you don’t need Him, you are on the road to destruction. The worst part is, you may not even notice. This happens more with people who are doing well in their life, believe it or not.
You are blessed in your brokenness
When you come to the point of sheer exhaustion from doing things your own way, your eyes start to see the truth. You face a choice between yourself and God. On your knees, blinded by your own tears, you face a moment of transformation. You are completely vulnerable, which breaks even the most prideful heart. That moment is when you have the opportunity to let God help you. You are not lukewarm, but instead burning with desire for Him because you realize you can’t do it on your own.
He will make a purpose where you didn’t know one existed
Hannah was barren, and she longed for a son. If she wasn’t utterly crushed in her spirit, she might not have prayed so hard to God. Her overwhelming desire for Him shattered her grief. She chose to give it to God instead of carrying her burden any longer. When God answered her prayer and gave her a son, it demonstrated the purpose of her anguish.
Let it go
I hope you feel encouraged to choose as Hannah did. Whatever is breaking your spirit right now, you do not have to handle it alone. Jesus is standing at your door and knocking. You can give it to Him. Let it go. He has a great purpose for your life. In every moment, both joy and despair, there is a purpose. Trials produce patience and help you grow in your spirit. The more you rely on Him, the more you will trust. You won’t go wrong in your faith when you take a chance on Him. You’re blessed in your brokenness because it brings you to a point of surrender. Call on God
What holds you back?
It’s hard to trust, especially when you’ve been burned. You’ve been hurt and you don’t trust anyone. Especially when you take a chance on someone only to find they’ve hurt you just like the others. God isn’t like that. He already chose you because He loves you. His intent is to help you, not hurt you. You can be confident He hears you when you call out to Him.
Here are a few reasons to help you confide in God:
1. Trusting Him is different
“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man” Psalms 118:8, God says to trust in Him. He isn’t like the people who’ve hurt you. He loves you and already accepted you through His Son Jesus. You only need to believe.
2. He hears you
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, And delivers them out of all their troubles” Psalms 34:17,. You know that He is listening to your cry. When you are alone in your room and reaching out for Him, He hears you. If you don’t get the answer you expect, that doesn’t mean He isn’t listening. We are slaves of instant gratification. We always want things right now. God doesn’t work according to our will, we work according to His, in His time. He hears you, so keep reaching out in faith. He will help you.
3. You can ask Him for help
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14. When you are in a broken state it’s cathartic to let it out. Cry, yell, scream … do whatever you have to do to let it go and give it to God. He hears you and wants to help you. Ask Him for what you need. Maybe you don’t know what you truly need, and that’s ok. Ask Him to help you follow His will and submit. You may be surprised at what happens.
4. He will get you through it
“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears” Psalms 34:4, NKJV. Faith is not just believing He hears you, but that He can do something about your situation. The more you grow in your faith by trusting Him each day, you will start to see with your heart. You will notice how He helps you in ways that prove only possible by God. Putting your faith in Him frees you of the burden of fear. The fear of rejection, failure, and pain no longer hovers over you because in Jesus you are completely accepted and loved.
Being afraid of things you can’t control in the world don’t plague you once you give it to Him. Truly letting go and watching Him work is a glorious experience. You heal in ways you don’t expect. He knows your heart because you are His child. You will never go wrong turning to God for help.
I hope you trust in God in whatever is troubling you. I pray you hear His voice and find peace. You can be confident in Him. He loves you and accepts you for who you are through His Son Jesus Christ.