How can we see a blessing when we’re going through a difficult time? When your world comes crashing down, it hurts too much to look up. Anger, fear, and grief all race around you like it’s a competition to see who gets to keep you in bed for the day.
But God knows your heart. He reveals things in His time. He gives us every spiritual blessing in Jesus. Even through cancer…
Going for my checkup at the “woman doctor” I was prepared for an irregular result from the test just as I’ve had for the past ten years. “Abnormal squamous cells of undetermined significance” is what I was expecting with “just watching it” every 6 months-year.
I received unexpected results instead.
I got the results over the phone from the nurse while driving to work. I heard words like “precancerous” and “high-grade,” but couldn’t focus. I wanted to talk to my doctor about it, but didn’t hear from her for three days, and it was initiated by me. Instantly, I realized it was wrong. This was all wrong.
If you or your loved one has ever heard words remotely close to “cancer” time instantly looks different to you.
I didn’t get any follow-up for a month. A month is an eternity. I’m a nurse by profession and knowing too much hurt my optimism. It wasn’t good.
The doctor told me that my results were concerning for cancer, and not the “good” type, the bad type that is unpredictable. I didn’t even know there was a good type of cancer…. did I miss something in nursing school?
She said I should get a hysterectomy. A hysterectomy would not only remove my entire uterus and cervix but my chance to have any more children too.
My eyes watered as I looked at my husband. I can’t even imagine what was going through his mind at that moment. The doctor spoke fast and matter of fact, which was really surprising because she was always so nice. I guess you don’t see the true colors of a doctor until what you have is not “within normal limits.”
The nurse in me finally showed up. I asked about options instead of removing everything with a hysterectomy. She told me to consult a gynecological oncologist and couldn’t recommend anyone because she “only did one rotation there.”
My husband held my hand as if he was pulling me from a ravene. Once we got to the car, we let it out.
Fear overwhelmed me. But he wrapped his arms around me so tight it kept the fear from getting too deep.
The blessing was least expected.
Even though it was like a lottery picking one from a website, my oncologist turned out to be someone God put in our path. I picked him solely because his last name was the same as a famous hockey player, and I’m a hockey fan. But God knew I would, right?
My husband and I walked into his office and every single person was above and beyond. The aura in the office was filled with compassion, kindness, and gentleness.
Those are the things cancer isn’t.
He was attentive and offered support every step of the way. When my husband asked questions, he validated everything he was saying with thoughtful answers. He was direct, but kind.
This man and his team were an amazing blessing amidst the most fearful time in my life. He did NOT want to take my uterus, he wanted to know more about the situation. He talked with us about all options and we walked away comforted.
Flash forward and today I’m cancer free! I had a small tumor in my cervix, but thankfully it didn’t spread anywhere else. I didn’t need chemotherapy or radiation.
But, I’m still on the journey. The journey is what no one talks about when cancer strikes. It’s like a secret club everyone acknowledges but never speaks about details. Always testing, fearing, hoping, praying.
Blessings are all around us, but fear makes it hard to see them.
God is working behind the scenes for you.
You’ll get angry, upset, scared, and burned out, but keep the faith. Your faith is something no one can take from you. Jesus gives you a gateway to all spiritual blessings. You have every blessing IN CHRIST.
When we realize that God allows both prosperity and adversity, we can better understand how to be surrender our hearts. Our need for control overshadows faith sometimes. As a result, we try to do everything except simply giving it to God.
He will work against the pain in your life so you can see the purpose.
This is Laura Story singing the song “Blessings.” Right after I wrote this post I heard an interview with Laura on Word FM and she talked about the story behind this song. I encourage you to listen and look up her story. It’s very inspiring and hits home.
It’s the worst feeling. As a result, you are physically drained and only want to sleep. You lay in bed wanting to do nothing, also with no appetite because you can’t taste your food.
Maybe it’s even severe enough that you are in the hospital, and feel like a pin cushion because of all the blood they’ve taken and medicines you’ve received. Medicines piled on top of one another to try and “fix” but often just mask for a bit until a new problem arises.
When you’re physically sick the only way to get rid of the bacteria in the infection is to kill it and remove it.
How do you know what bacteria is causing the infection?
You get tested, through blood, spit, or swabs. Doctors who specialize in that know how to use the sample and figure out what’s causing the infection. Then antibiotics are chosen by how the bacteria is known to respond to them.
For example, if bacteria are known to be sensitive to Cipro, that is the antibiotic that is chosen because the bacteria will not be able to fight it. Once you start getting that antibiotic the bacteria die and your body gets rid of it. Afterward……
You start to feel better!!
You want to eat again and get up and walk around. It takes time but there is a light at the end of the tissues. If you have a virus, most likely it will have to run its course, but there are things that can help boost your immune system to fight it.
Physically sick and spiritually sick aren’t all that different.
Your spirit is kindled by the word of God and the relationship with Him.
The nourishment to your spirit is His word. When you are spiritually sick, you aren’t close to God, but get torn apart by the world.
The “bugs” that cause infection are those flesh hosts of lusts, greed, hate, anger, adultery, and lies. Your selfishness runs rampant, and when it’s a really bad case, you don’t even notice.
It feels like you’re always chasing something, but never catching it. You feel broken, beaten, helpless, and hopeless. Your drive and passion for life are sucked out and replaced with negativity and cynicism.
The more trouble we face the harder our heart becomes, which leaves it impenetrable.
When your spirit is in need of healing, you won’t feel close to God.
You may feel angry or hurt, and blame Him for whatever is causing you pain.
It’s hard for you to pray so you do something else. Then days of not praying become weeks, and eventually years without intervention. You succumb to the world and feel alone.
A hurt that you once could identify becomes an epidemic within you, that you can no longer pinpoint. Your spirit is infected with hurt, distrust, and doubt.
You try to heal it using medications, therapy, and other coping mechanisms that don’t get to the source but just delay the symptom. Some of them start to have “side effects” that give you a new problem. Your spirit is infected with bad bugs that need to be removed so you can regain your joy.
Your life is meant for a great purpose, and you have a gift that you cannot use when your spirit is “infected.”
So how do you “kill” the empty spirit and be made new?
Two words…. Jesus Christ.
Jesus has already defeated what you are going through.
He was tempted with the very things you are in your flesh body, and He fought it. He conquered death and rose again.
Right now, in your struggle with the sickness in your spirit, you have a choice.
Stop resisting and start letting Him in your heart.
He has never lied or not fulfilled His promises. You can trust Him and lean on Him because He only has your best interest at heart. He will not let you down. He wants you to be free from this pain, and have peace.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”.
It will be uncomfortable at first because you haven’t done it in a while, or maybe never.
The relationship we have with Him is like a father and son. A father and son who love each other talk, share stories, laugh together, and support one another.
The son looks to his father for guidance and the father provides security, protection, and correction. Jesus and God the Father provide the best example of this and help us to understand their character.
You are a creation that is absolutely magnificent.
You were bought for a significant price, and through Jesus you can have the peace.
It is a continuous process to let go of the temporary fixes you have been using and trust in the permanent freedom in Him.
Let go a little more every day and He has a chance to work within you, transforming you, and getting the nourishment to your sick spirit. You can absolutely do it.
Remember, He is knocking all you have to do is open the door.
Every day is a similar pattern. Wake up after multiple bouts of alarm silencing, get some coffee, get the kids up, start getting ready for work, make sure the hubby is up, and off you all go. Five days in a row, off you go. Your life may have variations, but for the most part there is some type of routine that occurs in your house daily.
What happens when the routine is broken?
Not by a sudden tragedy or somebody getting sick, but by something else. You get up exhausted from the activities the day before, you can’t get your mind ready for today. Your body is out of energy but your mind won’t stop. It’s racing with all the “To-Do’s” but makes you feel stagnant. You aren’t thinking clearly, only fragments of thoughts that jump from “did I send that email?” to “what am I doing with my life?” You start questioning everything, which eventually leads to questioning yourself.
Starting down the road of lies, you tell yourself you need to be better.
You aren’t thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, strong enough, kind enough and just not “enough.” The mirror becomes your enemy. You try to maintain the routine for everyone but just can’t get a grasp on things the way you want, or think you should. That little bit of doubt in yourself is a seed. The seed gets nourishment from every lie you believe. You want to be good for yourself and your family, but anxiety and insecurity takes over.
Before you go down a road full of worry, driven by claims that you aren’t worth anything, remember that you are not alone.
The Lord knows your heart, He searches it and finds the greatest parts of you deep inside where even you forgot they were. You can always speak to Him, spend time with Him, and cry to Him. Submitting to the fact you don’t have all the answers is really difficult. That is usually the core foundation of endless worry because you have questions and want answers. You’ll never know everything you wish to seek, but God knows your heart and knows the purpose He sees in you.
The more you stop worrying and start submitting by giving it to Him, the more you will be aligned with His view of you, not your own.
He sees you in a greater light than you could ever see yourself. Each day give Him your fear, don’t try to tackle it yourself. He knows how to unravel things in your life in a way to benefit you and your purpose according to Him. His grace is sufficient for you. Jesus has died for you out of the love He has for you. Love that you deserve to feel, and know exists right in your heart.
Let Him search your heart, you will be surprised with the treasure that’s in it.
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A burden is a heavy load. It can keep you from having peace because it weighs you down.
Most times when we think of our responsibilities in life it’s not defined as a burden because they often are blessings. Family, school, job, house, car, church, friends, and the list continues. You do many different things and function in many different roles in your life. At some point, all of those roles get intertwined and you’re pulled in many directions.
You are needed by people you care about so of course, you respond. “Yes Patty I can help you prep for the shower” or “of course I can talk right now, what’s going on?” (when you are literally pulling straws out of your kid’s nose while the macaroni is boiling over the stove onto the floor that your dog is licking up.) You’re busy and that’s most likely not changing any time soon.
But when does responsibility turn into burden?
Think about the reason you have so many roles. You work hard, you care about people, and you try to be a reliable support to those who need help. This may vary according to your specific personality or lifestyle, but for the most part, it’s why you choose to commit your time to many things/people. Sometimes, because you’re human and can’t do everything by yourself, you get burned out.
If no one has ever told you….. it’s ok not to be Superwoman (or man). Sometimes you will make mistakes and not follow through with everything.
When responsibility turns into burden is when it becomes an unrealistic and unattainable expectation. It becomes a task and no longer a blessing. Your entire day is filled with things to do and you don’t get a chance to breathe. Juggling too many balls leads to one falling down at an unexpected moment, which causes all of them to fall.
The burdens that most people don’t see in your life, God sees.
Your mind wrought with a heavy choice to make, or your heart hurting with grief. The things that make you not want to get out of bed because you can’t face another moment with the load you’re carrying… that’s what He is interested in. He knows your heart and wants you to lean on Him for support.
He can carry the extra weight of anything that is troubling you. He will bear it, you just have to give it up. That’s really the hardest part. The faith of letting it go for Him to handle. You have absolutely no idea how He may already be working in your life regarding the very thing that has you trapped. He has a way of surprising you in the solution. Deciding that you don’t have, nor want, control and letting it go to Him is a great act of faith. He will sustain you and guide you.
He wants you to be the person He created you to be.
All those roles you have in your life are blessings to you and to those people you impact every day. If you aren’t filled with vigor and love, then it’s going to be pretty hard to deliver the fruits of your spirit like gentleness, kindness, and joy. He will lead you but you have to put your faith in Him. Talk to Him about it, spend some time with Him, and let Him know what’s burdening you today. You will be surprised at the response you see in your life.
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What are your struggling with today?
There are moments when we just don’t have it all together. Some of of them are short-lived and we move forward. But some cause us to be stuck. What is causing you to be stuck? Feel free to comment below
Fear is a loud bark with no bite. The “what ifs” of the world create the worst fears in people, more than the “what is” could ever do. Anxiety, insecurity, and worry are all rooted in fear. If you’ve struggled with any of those you know that the worst place is in your own mind because you think of every possible scenario to fuel your fear. It gains momentum with every outrageous what if, and you feel more helpless.
What does anxiety look like?
“I am ok. I’m ok. I’m really ok. Today is good. It is. I know that it will all work out. But that one time it didn’t. That one time it really didn’t work and it hurt. It hurts. It’s not working. I’m not ok. Am I ok? I don’t think so. I know it’s going to go wrong just like the last time. Why would it work? Why wouldn’t it work? I can’t do this. I need out. I need to leave. How do I get out of here? I thought this was over. I can’t take it anymore. What will everyone think? I need to figure this out. I need to do better. I need to be better. Why can’t it just work? It can’t. It won’t. But I’m ok. I am ok. I’m really ok. But I’m not. I need out.”
What a tormenting thought process.
Continuously hyper-focused on everything that could happen and no security in the ability to handle anything that actually does happen. It’s an all-consuming fire sucking the oxygen out of the room. You can’t breathe, you panic, and you have no idea how it started. It just happens sometimes and you feel completely out of control. Other people don’t understand how you can just think certain things that are negative and binding to you’re very well-being, but they don’t have to live with the torment. They don’t know that you would do anything to stop it if you could.
I am a nurse and I will tell you there are plenty of medications that can help, and for many people they do. Although, it seems that the medications are a temporary fix for what’s really going on deep inside of you. Those deep dark places that involve fear, worry, anxiety, and insecurity are your most vulnerable parts of yourself. As a result, you rarely share your fight among them, and so you are left to battle alone.
But you are not alone
Jesus has already fought for you and will do so again. When you let go, and believe in Him, you are filled with His Holy Spirit. His Spirit searches your heart and reaches those dark places you don’t tell anyone about. He loves you so much He died for you, there is nothing you can do to earn that, it is because of God’s grace that He loves you. His love is perfect, without flaw. As you are right this moment, He loves you and wants you to let Him into your heart.
There is not one thing you’ve done that can keep you from the perfect love of God, and that is the absolute truth.
If you believe the lie that you’re not worth it, it’s time to stop and choose a different path. The perfect love from God casts out all your fears. The energy the fear steals from you is restored by Him. Once you let go and let Him handle it, you see a new path. Your new path involves the process of letting go and letting Him deal with it, continuously. What once was a continuous loop of terror, becomes a continuous loop of support.
If you’re wondering why me? It’s because His grace is sufficient for you. He loves you. The perfect love of God is not like anything else. It’s not because of anything you’ve done to earn it, it’s because He loves you as you are and wants you to have a good life with Him.
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Have you ever thought about what real unconditional love is?
Love that has no boundaries and endless availability. God loves us in a way we can’t even love ourselves. Comment below and tell me your thoughts.
Please be kind and respectful with your comments. This forum is meant for encouragement because there are just too many things in this world to bring us down.
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