Prayer isn’t a ritual. It’s a relationship with God. But, how do you know you are praying “the right way”? Is there a right way to pray?
A church can teach you many things about prayer, fellowship, and the story of God’s love for us. But what if you never went to church?
Jesus calls you to follow Him right where you are. For you, maybe He called you at a low point in your life. He knows how to reach your heart when it’s just you and Him.
Perhaps you’ve always felt Him with you since you were a kid. No matter how He came into your life, it’s a very personal experience.
And, most likely, it wasn’t when you were in church.
But, once you trust in Him as your Savior, it can be hard to know what to do next.
When I started going to church as an adult, I didn’t know what to expect. My Dad always talked to me about the word of God, but we didn’t belong to a specific church.
So, when I decided to attend a non-denominational Christian church in my twenties, I traveled uncharted territory. Despite my love for God and talking to people, it was uncomfortable.
I felt like I already had a personal relationship with God, and I wasn’t sure how these people would fit into that. I had questions …
Do they believe in the word of God?
Would they try to change me?
What if they just want money?
I felt God calling me to get out of my head and just go. So, I had to listen.
The church wasn’t in a typical church building but in a YWCA meeting hall. So, I sat at the end of the last row, with my head down, taking notes.
My usual extroverted self took the day off, and my skeptical introvert took over.
I kept going, sitting by myself and letting that introvert lead the way.
It was months before I really talked to anyone. It was the most out of character thing I’d ever done.
Why is it so hard to embrace church?
I struggled at first because my relationship with God is very personal, just like yours is with Him.
I didn’t want that to change. Honestly, I didn’t want anyone else to tell me I had to change it or make it different.
Most of my prayers took place in my car while driving. I just talked to God all the time.
I was afraid that a church full of people who knew “the right way to pray” would try to take it away. Or judge me for not being just like them.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I found out that many of those people did the same thing. They had their own relationship with God too.
Your relationship with God involves talking to Him. You may hear people talk about “prayer life.” I didn’t know what that meant, but it’s just a way of saying how you meet with God.
The most important thing you can do is spend time with God through prayer. As much time as you can.
Whether you go to church, spend time in your room, or even take a walk to talk to Him, it’s all part of building your relationship.
“Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving” Colossians 4:2
There’s a lot to learn from this one verse. So let’s break it down.
Earnestly in prayer
When you are praying, are you really sharing your heart with God? This is your Father. He knows you inside and out and created every part of you. He wants you to share your deep desires with Him.
Instead of passively reciting “our Father who art in heaven,” maybe start with “God I don’t know what to do. I need your help. Please search my heart. In Jesus’ holy name I pray…”
The Lord’s prayer is wonderful, and it was taught to us by Jesus. But, God also wants you to open your heart … what’s in it right now?
Jesus teaches “But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly” Matthew 6:6
Prayer isn’t for show. It’s for you and God.
No one can tell you what you should say because no one knows what’s in YOUR heart except God.
Being Vigilant in Prayer
When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do?
You probably do that thing every day. You either have to do it, or you choose to do it. Either way, it’s part of your daily life.
Life is crazy, especially with what’s going on in the world right now. The day will easily get away from you.
That’s why being intentional in planning time for God helps. Although, I have to admit I struggle with this sometimes.
Spending 10 minutes with God in the morning before everyone in the house wakes up can change your entire day.
Vigilance means alert, aware, and attentive.
The time you sit down to pray will be the time you’re most attacked by Satan. He’ll try to distract you, even in the middle of your prayer.
Do you know why?
Because the more time you spend with God, the stronger His spirit is within you.
That is a threat to Satan.
There is no higher level of importance than your relationship with the living God. Through Jesus Christ, you can have the connection with God He’s always wanted, and you’ve always craved.
Pray with Thanksgiving
It’s easy to forget what we’ve once prayed for when things are going good, right?
Outta sight, outta mind.
The hard stuff He’s carried you through becomes part of your past that you don’t think about every day. We get used to our lives quickly moving, and overlook blessings right in front of our faces.
Try to remember what Jesus has done for you. You can experience joy, peace, and the full grace of God because of Him.
Look around you and find the goodness He’s put in your life.
This is not to guilt you in any way, just encouragement to open your heart and mind to the blessings God has given you.
If it’s hard for you to see, spend more time with Him. Tell Him about it. Let Him know you want to see your life as He does.
You know you should push forward, but you just can’t find the energy. You feel like giving up and throwing in the towel.
You question the purpose of this tough thing you’re going through because you’ve been faithful.
God rewards those who believe in Him, right?
So why is it so hard?
I remember a time when I almost didn’t finish nursing school. I was a non-traditional student, which is a fancy way to say I was old compared to the others.
I wanted to quit.
I prayed instead. A lot.
And despite my feelings, I stayed the course, kicking and screaming the entire time.
And you know what? I graduated.
God had to nudge me, but I did it. He provided the path. I just had to walk it.
Becoming a nurse was the hardest but most rewarding journey I’ve ever taken. I’ve met people I’ll never forget.
But the most important part was being able to help in their vulnerable moments.
God was always with me, even when I wanted to give up.
In your life, I’m sure there are times you’ve wanted to quit, too.
But maybe your situation is more tragic, like losing someone you love.
You feel lost and heartbroken. And you just don’t have the strength anymore.
Sometimes, it’s just too hard.
And pushing forward takes too much energy that you have to muster from every cell in your body.
It isn’t easy to see God’s plan when we’re going through something difficult.
But God’s word says to be steadfast and immovable.
So how can we stay the course when all we want to do is give up?
We let Jesus do it.
We aren’t strong enough to withstand all the battles in our flesh telling us to quit.
Our spirit is broken down by the lies of the world, saying we can do everything ourselves.
We feel inadequate, shameful even when we feel like giving up, which only fuels more despair.
But Jesus can do it. So ask Him for help right where you are.
Pray. Pray. Pray.
Building your relationship with Jesus will strengthen His presence in your life.
The more time you spend with Him, the more you trust Him.
You’d be surprised at how He shows up just when you can’t take it anymore.
How can we trust God when He has the power to change everything … and He doesn’t?
When life-changing things occur in our lives, our faith is shaken to its core.
If you’ve faced a terrible situation, you never thought or hoped it would happen to you. It’s almost worse if you have a strong faith because it’s just so easy to blame God.
He has control, so why didn’t He intervene?
Now, some events are especially heartbreaking. Those ones you read about and say, Oh my gosh, I don’t know what I would do if that happened. That’s horrible!
If you’ve experienced one of those, you know what it’s like to travel down a hole of despair and not see daylight for weeks, maybe months. A pit in your stomach filled with guilt and anger, with no cure except occasional blame. Yourself, God, the mailman for waking you up by knocking on your door … it doesn’t matter.
You blame the world.
And you hate it.
And you’re afraid of it.
On the contrary, when a great event happens, we do this weird thing to ourselves, trying not to get too happy about it.
Imposter syndrome.
Have you heard the term?
Yep, you feel like you’re a stand-in or a fake.
It shouldn’t be yougetting the blessings, and it’s just a matter of time before it all falls apart.
Conversely, when good things happen, you may dodge imposter syndrome by being grateful.
Gratitude is great, but sometimes when everything has worked out, you stop doing what you did leading up to them working out.
For example, you prayed every morning and built a relationship with God while going through something challenging. All that praying helped you talk to Him and listen to His direction.
When He works in your life, and you experience an answered prayer, you stop talking. It’s so easy to get lost in the good stuff, too, because we want to savor it. But we often forget about God.
Do you see how you are tested in both good and bad situations?
Faith takes commitment, but not the way YOU think.
It takes submission to God.
Trust what God tells you, but also His control in your life. Even when you think He isn’t listening.
Your commitment doesn’t mean doing everything you can to make changes yourself.
It means doing everything you can to surrender to God.
You don’t have the strength to handle some things. That’s why He is your Rock.
There’s a verse I want to share with you and look at differently.
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it” 1 Corinthians 10:13
Think about that word temptation.
Immediately you think of being curious to do something bad, right?
Well, let’s face it, we make mistakes and want bad things sometimes as human beings.
But temptation means pulling you away from God. Usually, it’s associated with seeking the world instead of Him.
When we turn to ourselves for answers, isn’t that pulling away from God, too?
No matter how torn apart you feel, God is always there for you.
In your weakest moment, His strength can overcome.
Don’t be tempted to run from Him because you’re hurt or mad at Him. Run towards Him with it.
He is faithful and will NOT let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
He knows you’re hurting, and He hears your cry.
God says He will make a way of escape so you can handle it.
When your faith is tested, He is faithful toward you. He will give you what you need to handle whatever is happening in your life.
Whether it’s a great blessing or pure anguish, He equips you.
So how do we trust God with the hard stuff that happens?
Submit in faith to Him.
He knows what you need. He’s the only One who truly understands your heart.
Don’t stop spending time with Him. Just pray to accept His will for your life.
That’s exactly what Jesus did. Jesus’ relationship with God, His Father, is an example for us.
Trust God. Keep your faith. Submit to Him. And don’t stop praying.
If you are going through something today and God has helped you, please share it in the comments. I am personally encouraged by your testimony, and so are many others. We’re in this together.
Sometimes your heart simply needs to be held up. Or maybe you need a little push to be courageous.
As a nurse, I’ve witnessed people go through things they never thought could happen to them.
One moment they’re spending time with family, the next moment, they are in a hospital bed fighting for their life.
When there is so much uncertainty in the world, it’s hard to know what to hang onto.
If you’re going through a difficult time right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
You will get through this time in your life, especially when you reach for God to help you. Your loved ones can give you numerous ways of support, which is a blessing in itself.
But sometimes, you need something really personal to connect with to strengthen you when you’re alone with your own thoughts.
Maybe you’re fighting a disease or struggling with crippling anxiety.
Perhaps you’re broken in ways you don’t share with anyone.
It pulls you toward God and helps you to rely on Him. It’s the truth that reels you back when you’re lost in the emotions that life stirs up.
I’ve gone through it too, and there’s a verse that’s connected with me despite my struggles. It’s so ingrained in my heart that I probably couldn’t forget it if I tried.
That verse alone secures me. It reminds me in times of utter fear, it’s ok to trust God.
When I first started working as a nurse, I was so afraid of making a mistake.
I didn’t want to do the wrong thing because, frankly, people’s lives depended on it.
I didn’t know how to overcome the sense of overwhelming worry before setting foot in that hospital.
So I prayed.
For some reason, that verse would pop right into my heart.
“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3: 16-17
What verse do you carry with you?
If you don’t have one you can think of it’s ok, but it will help you in your life. I know it seems impossible to remember verses and chapters like pastors do, but you don’t have to do that.
Just one is a good start. Remember, you also have a Helper in the Holy Spirit.
Lusts of the world will attack every part of you in every way possible.
Lies, hate, and all the grime in between are what we face in a world that only loves itself.
When you’re thrust into turbulent waters, you struggle to stay afloat. You’re thrashed with powerful waves that seize and try to take you away.
Scripture is your anchor to keep you rooted in God.
It’s so easy to get lost in the massive waves filled with confusion, but just one verse will keep you focused on what He tells you. It won’t leave you.
So how do you choose a verse?
I’m confident that once you open the Bible and start reading, there is something that will connect with your spirit. God knows your heart and what you need to hear. When you come across a verse that speaks to you, it’s like He guided you right where you needed to go.
He’s kind of amazing like that.
I can’t tell you what will ignite your spirit, but I can surely encourage you to seek Him and spend time in His Word. You will not be disappointed. God’s word will pull you toward Himself.
His scripture will anchor you no matter what you are going through.
If you have a verse that has guided you in your life, please share it in the comments. I’d love to hear your story about it!
What is something you crave and can’t live without?
A need that you have to fulfill. You’re active in searching for it. It gives you chills because your heart is full. The only thing you fear is being without it because it defines your purpose. It makes you feel like a better person.
You were created to have needs that supply you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Humans crave connection. Desire leads to a passion that you must satisfy. Passion drives you to connect with something in a powerful way. It’s an insatiable devotion; you can’t get enough of it.
So, what are you passionate about?
In my own reflection on passion and purpose, I remember a part of the movie Sister Act 2. Have you seen it? Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) was talking to the young girl who wanted to sing but was too afraid because her mother wouldn’t let her.
“If you wake up in the morning and you can’t think of anything but singing first, you’re supposed to be a singer girl.”
So, what is that thing you wake up and think about first?
Recognizing what you are passionate about in your life can help you become very self-aware. It’s hard to stay focused in a world full of distraction. But passion drives your motivation.
As a child, you had an endless supply of free-spirited optimism, but situations in your life caused that to dry up.
I believe that’s why Jesus said to be as little children (Matt 18:3, NKJV). Children aren’t inhibited by the world like you and me. They haven’t learned to distrust people because of hurt and rejection. Their hearts are warm and open, ready to accept God whenever He chooses to reach them.
Their innocence isn’t just because of lack of experience, but because their heart is humble.
God rewards humility
While teaching his disciples, Jesus called over a child to sit with them and said, “whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me” (Matt 18:4-5, NKJV).
We’ll get back to humility, but first let’s think about your desires.
What is the one thing that excites you the most?
Be honest. If you can’t be honest with yourself and with God, who will you be able to trust?
It’s ok. You’re not alone in desiring things that may not be the best for you. Maybe you’re hitting a wall and can’t think of anything, and that’s ok too. The purpose of taking a minute to think about your true desires is to reflect on what you are really chasing.
Getting to the root will help you get raw.
Raw is good, but doesn’t always feel like it. Tearing away the layers you’ve built to make you acceptable in the world takes time. Maybe you don’t even realize you’ve created them, which takes even longer to break them down.
Think of a beating heart: Lub dub, lub dub … and so on. At it’s most raw form, the heart beats freely and vigorously.
Nothing inhibits it, it just pumps.
With each pump, it sends life to every cell in the body. That’s what it was created to do … beat.
Over time, something goes wrong. Layers of thick muscle build up around the heart.
The heart keeps beating.
But the layers get thicker and thicker. Eventually, the layers are so thick, the heart can’t beat.
It can’t move like it was designed. Eventually, the blood carrying life to the cells is limited. The heart can’t survive in this condition, and neither can the body.
Peeling the layers helps us to get humble.
There is a purpose that was put inside of us, not by the world, but by our Father and Creator.
Being humble isn’t something we are naturally good at. We want reward for our good work. But the lowly in heart perform for no reward.
Working hard to get rewards is the human way, right?
Our reward for work is getting paid, which is one of the most basic principles we learn as an adult.
Working is one thing, but success is another. You want to be successful, but it’s essential to understand what success means to you … and to God.
Working hard at your job so you can have a nice retirement to enjoy might be your definition of success. If you’re a motivated individual who has many gifts in your work, that’s wonderful.
But what is God pulling you to do?
God cares about your heart, no matter what your bank account says. He’s not concerned with how much you know, or do in the world. He wants your heart to seek after Him and His Son.
Having humility is the key
When you humble yourself before God, something changes.
You view yourself as someone who needs Him. Crying out to Him displays your acceptance of your limitations. It also shows your faith.
Getting on your knees and saying that you need His help is an extremely spiritual experience.
This world will deceive you in thinking you can have all the answers.
Not enough money? No problem, you get a second job or invest.
Need a bigger house? Get a huge loan and pay it back later.
Feeling down in the dumps? Not an issue … take a few pills, and you’re fixed.
The more you look to the world and find answers yourself, the more you believe you can.
You were created by God with a purpose, just like a heart is meant to beat.
He loves you and gave His only Son so you could be reconciled back to Him.
Your body is a temple to Him. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, His Holy Spirit meets you right in your heart.
If you don’t receive Him, your heart has a void that yearns to be filled.
You’ll search the world to try and fill it, but there’s no replacement for Jesus Christ.
You may not realize it in your everyday motions. That is why humility is necessary. You have to be willing to take a step back and look at yourself with a humble heart. The more you peel the layers, the more you see the purpose.
God wants you to come back to Him. He wants to walk with you in your life, or carry you if you need it.
He is the only One who can truly help you.
If you’re wondering how to do that, start with your desires.
What is the job you would do even if you didn’t get paid?
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